I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize