I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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