Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize