don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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