Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
