Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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