Already got asked if we're dating
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize