wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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