You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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