i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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