We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
