why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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