Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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