I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
