You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
