worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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