I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
