Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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