So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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