The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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