You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
