Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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