How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
