i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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