The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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