i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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