Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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