All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
