what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
