quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sorry about my life...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
