I accidentally burped into my bong.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
