Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
