we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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