It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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