What did we do last night that was yellow?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
