This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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