OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize