dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
