I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize