What did we do last night that was yellow?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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