You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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