Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i came on her dog
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize