I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
