1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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