how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
