dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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