like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
