So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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