shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Please, let me fuck your mom
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
