Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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