K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
