i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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